He’s There

damasdamas:

He’s there. He’s not going anywhere. I can still call him. Can still text him. Can still talk to him about anything. He’s sitting across my table yesterday. If I want to, I can reach him. But even though he’s there, he’s really not.

He’s still the same person. Still the guy that I love. The sarcastic guy that loves Disney and Meryl Streep. The guy that makes me feel safe everytime he hold me. The guy that can make me feel happy even when I didn’t even want to smile. He’s still there. But at the same time, I can’t reach him.

I can’t reach him. I can’t look in his eyes and say I love him. I can’t say I miss him. I can’t say anything at all. I can’t hold him. He is there, but he’s not.

Where did that part of him go? A part of him who looks into my eyes and said that I’m beautiful even though I look like hell and my eyes were swollen because I’m sick. A part of him who said I’m beautiful and for the first time in my life, I believe it. A part of him who asked me to keep his heart forever. A part of him who loves me.

That part of him is still there I guess. But he can’t show it anymore. He can’t. I can’t do any of the things that I want to do to someone that I love. And he can’t do it either. Love is not the problem here. Love is there. It’s not gone. It’s there. But all the love that I can give and all the love that he can give is not enough.

Someday, we can be with each other and won’t hurt each other. We can make each other happy. I can make you smile and laugh. We will be very happy together. Someday that will happen. Until then, I will be here. Changing myself for the better. And you will be there. Here and there can meet you know. They can communicate. Until the day when here and there will merged into one and be the same. Until then, I will be here, and you will be there.

:Dam, i like your post :)

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